The Clutter and Crumbs of a Messy Heart

This morning when I opened the front door- I noticed something I've noticed before; tiny grains of sand were sprinkled under the edge of the chair like crumbs dropped from a cookie.  

I knew it was sand and not cookie crumbs because I had given the floor a dust mopping yesterday.  But to see them now in the bright light of the sun irritated me because I knew it meant there was more sweeping and such to be done this morning.  I don't like messiness--but it happens daily.  To everyone.

There are two times on a sunny day when you can see all the flaws in my cleaning ability and in the floors we walk on--1) when the front door is open and the sun is at just the right point in the sky to showcase the floor, and 2) when the back door is open as the sun is going down behind the trees.  The sun has to be at particular places in the sky in order to pinpoint the flaws, but every time I notice it- I kind of cringe on the inside.  More cleaning.

It reminded me of the spiritual work in me that is an ongoing process.  As I pray and ask God to pinpoint the areas that need the work of the Holy Spirit, He does so and I cringe every-single-time.  More work.  Most likely, painful.  Where did I put the bandaids?  

For the house, moving the furniture away from the walls and cleaning underneath everything is necessary [for me to be satisfied that the job has been done well].  It's painful--and if my back is not in top form, it's something I have to forgo.  

But for the inner workings of my heart to be made new and clean--the Holy Spirit must come in and shine the light of the Son and show me the areas that need a major overhaul.  Painful, but necessary.  Especially if I want to be healed....and useful.  And I want to be both.

I tend to avoid hard conversations until it absolutely must be done.  Mostly, because I don't ever want to hurt someone's feelings.  I know that hard words, not timed right, can injure and often leave a scar.  I've got a few scars.  

These things are better done in-person --so that you can see who you are talking to.  Trust me, the confrontation done on the phone is more painful I think, because it's like you cut to the bone and don't stick around to help bandage it up. 

 

Even in person, the pain can be horrific....I know I have inflicted pain and been dealt pain--neither one of these will win any awards.  But dealing with the tough, sometimes messy situations of life- is necessary for growth.  And healing.  

Unresolved issues create a clutter of sort in the life of the Believer that can even feel suffocating.  It can feel like the life is being choked out--that the normal-day-to-day routines are almost impossible.   

Hello, my name is Angie and ....

I have clutter.  

I have crumbs.  

I have unresolved issues.  

Before we left for the mission field, I had no clue there were things I was still dealing with.  From my childhood on up to my adulthood.  I had left a trail of cookie crumbs of endured pain that I had neglected to tend to.  Sure, I swept and vacuumed, but still those crumbs were there.  They were invisible until the Light hit them in such a way-- and could not be avoided any longer.

If you can picture a worn out box of mis-matched items.  They don't belong together--they are pieces from another era, but yet you carry them around.  The box is ripped on the side.  It has duct tape holding it together.  It's unsightly.  Not anything you would put out on display.  It's kept in a closet.  I take it out, examine the contents, hoping to know how and when to remove them...but eventually wind up putting it back in the box, in the back of the closet.

It's time to clean house.   Let's begin...

Today, I have handed the dust mop and garbage can over to One who can do a better job than I can.  I know He will leave no trace of the messy behind.   It's still there because of the things that come out of my mouth (out of the abundance of the heart, etc.).  

I'm not talking about what you think--cussing like a sailor home on furlough;  I'm talking about negativity.  Yuck.  

Being around a negative person makes me tired.  However, I have caught myself saying some things that proved to me that I have issues--messy, cluttered-crumby issues that I need the Holy Spirit to help me with.  Only He can.  BUT only when I allow Him full access--handing over the mop and pail and giving Him carte blanch with my life.

Today is a brand new --uncluttered day.  I want my life to be such when He looks at me.  When I meet with Jesus in the early mornings, I want Him to show me--point it out to me--the areas that I need His help with.  (Hand raised--all areas!). So that I might be more like Him....

© Angie Knight 

 God has given each of you a gift from His great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. 1 Peter 4:10 NLT