Fully Relying On God © Angie Knight 2022. All rights reserved.
Fully Relying On God
Kicking and screaming–that’s how I would sometimes describe myself on the brink of obedience. Not all the time mind you.
Have you had one of those times?
Oh, sure. We want to obey. I even encourage my grandkids with much voice to do that very thing. But when the rubber meets the road--do we really obey at the first directive?
I like to think I do. But too often I have found myself talking myself out of something for various reasons. When an action is required on my part for something I feel so UNQUALIFIED for...I start balking. Seeing only my inabilities. My first focus is not on what God can do—it’s generally on what I can’t do, if I’m being totally honest.
“But—Lord— You KNOW ME! I can’t do that!" That’s generally my opening line with Him.
I am whining. I know it and -He knows it. Then He leans over and whispers... "I’m not asking YOU to do it. I will do it. All I want from you is an open heart and mouth."
I am humbled. Tears swell and fall. "Okay Lord." I should have known.
See, the thing is—I love LOVE writing. I told Him I’d do it every day—all the time—spreading His love through the tap-tapping of my keyboard...through the scratching of my pen on cards and letters. And that may very well be where He keeps me...but I think, every now and again, He may pull me out of my comfort zone, the place where I think to myself—"hey, I can do this"...almost in a fashion of not needing Him...but, you know as well as I do—I can’t put two words together to make a sentence without His guidance.
It's when He takes me OUT of the "comfy place"–the security of my limited abilities come to a screeching halt...and I rely solely on HIM. Total insecurity in me...and fully relying on Him.
Isn’t that where He wants us all to be? Dependent on Him?
Short story: When we were in Bolivia I went to a ladies Bible Study group every Monday night. I loved it—sometimes though, I had to make myself go. It stretched me more than I was comfortable with. For runners, you have to stretch before the run. For me, stretching hurts, but the results help in walking (a runner—I am not).
Anyway, each week while attending, I would work on my Spanish. Practicing my listening ear and speaking. Some Monday nights, a friend from church would pick me up—or I would take an Uber when she couldn’t. I had to put complete faith in God that He would give me the right Uber driver that would take me safely to my destination. I confess, it was scary at times. I would leave our apartment alone. Go stand by the road alone. It was night time. They didn’t start until 7:00 and no one gets there early-for anything.
If I had to get an Uber, they would get a testimony in Spanglish. Some words in English when I had no clue what the Spanish word was—but always enough for them to understand the miracle of me being in their country at that point in my life.
All the way to the church—in crazy traffic…at night…with a total stranger, I told him or her (mostly it was a “him”) about what Jesus had done in my life. Then after arrival, I would sit in small group class and try to catch phrases to grasp the lesson. Most of the time, I could make some pretty fair guesses. Of course I practiced in my head before I said things out loud. I made that all sound easy-peasy, but it was far from it.
The leader, who I love so dearly, had the wild idea for me to teach one night.
Are. You. Kidding. Me? I freaked and froze. I understood EXACTLY what she said in Spanish. I balked. I backpedaled. And when I got home and told Jeff—I cried.
On Sunday when I saw her again, I tried to talk her out of it…but it seemed our Pastora (female pastor—both she and her husband were the pastors of the church) felt like I needed to do it.
You should have heard me crying to God. Oh, my goodness, you would think He had just asked me to recite the Constitution on the White House lawn.
Guess what He gave me to speak on? Obedience. I wrote it out in English and was able to write some of it in Spanish-getting help from Jeff’s tutor with the wording and pronunciation—and all glory to God, I made it through it.
And I didn’t throw-up. But friend let me tell you, I truly felt like it.
That night and all the morning prayer times leading up to that night, He showed me just how much He would do through me and that I really didn’t have to stress—as long as I put my faith in Him and did my part—He did the rest.
Can I ask you—are you hesitating at something today where He wants you to submit?
Has He given you a specific burden to begin something no one has ever thought of? Or maybe they have but not exactly like this?
Maybe He has laid a specific place or people to pray for and you can't imagine why--so you wind up thinking it's all in your head--and never follow through?...
It's NOT in your head. It's in HIS PLAN.
Has He asked you to step out in faith to lead? Or, maybe He's asking you to surrender....
Are you at a full stop- thinking you can’t? When He says, “through Me, you can do all things.”
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
That is what I truly means to “Fully Rely On God”…. Don't think about YOUR resources or abilities...think of HIS. His resources are unlimited! HIS abilities are LIMITLESS! I ask you now, what can you do with that? What can HE do with YOU?
When you think you can’t….Just remember –frog—and you can.
To me—when it feels totally beyond me…I think that’s a good sign it just might be from God.
© Angie Knight. All rights reserved.
Photo credit: Pixabay.com.
God has given each of you a gift from His great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. 1 Peter 4:10 NLT
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