You CAN Make it THROUGH
"But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob,he who formed you, Israel:“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;I have summoned you by name; you are mine.2When you pass through the waters,I will be with you;and when you pass through the rivers,they will not sweep over you.When you walk through the fire,you will not be burned;the flames will not set you ablaze.3For I am the Lord your God,the Holy One of Israel, your Savior..." Isaiah 43: 1-3
I have felt compelled to share something I've shared with very few--but maybe someone needs to know how I made it through.
I will use "I" more in this blogpost than "we" because I can only speak for myself. I can't tell you how anyone else feels or responds in similar situations, because every person handles things in different ways.
The verse above was a lifeline for me before I was ever diagnosed with breast cancer. When I would wake up during the wee hours of the morning--I would sometimes begrudgingly go to the living room. Hot flashes woke me in a sweat--never being able to be cool enough and my brain seemed in overdrive--without caffeine. I had learned a long time ago--I couldn't handle any caffeinated drinks after 3:00 PM. AT ALL. So when those sweaty times woke me up in the middle of the night, it was in exhaustion and a deep desire to sleep--but insomnia seemed to haunt me.
I remember one night in particular as I walked into the living room, almost in sleep walking fashion, I remember saying mentally, "You better have something good to tell me because I'm exhausted". I bet you never talk to God in a sassy way. Well, unfortunately, I have. But don't think for a second that He lets me get by with it.
As the sleepless nights seemed relentless and bound to happen--I found my attitude changing. The more time I spent praying, reading and journaling--the more I wanted to pray, read, and journal. There was a period of time when I got out of bed anywhere between 2 and 4 in the morning with great expectation. I knew--HE woke me--and HE was about to tell me something, or encourage me--or remind me of past faithfulness. This became my new devotional time with God. I used this time for more than a year because I knew God wanted to spend time with me.
When this verse became fixed on my spiritual radar more than any other, I was in the living room somewhere between 1:00 AM and 3:00 AM. I often wrote the time with the date when I journaled. I had been praying and then I felt these words in a paraphrased version sink into my spirit. I had not read them during any of this time--as a matter of fact, it had never landed in any Bible Study I had participated in up to now. It's like God was saving the beauty of this verse for just this time in my life. Later, I learned God wanted me to have this message so pinned to my heart that He gave it to two other individuals to give to me: one just weeks before I was diagnosed with cancer, and the second one on the way to the hospital the morning of my surgery. Neither one of them knew what God had already given me. But God did--and He knew I would pay attention.
How does that work exactly?, you may ask. Well, in my own experience with a word from the Lord, it often happened as I would be praying--and someone or, a message would come to me so strongly--and perhaps I would be praying in my prayer language--and just as that portion of prayer time would close, it was as if I heard so strong in my mind/heart/spirit an English version of what I just prayed in an unknown tongue. Your skeptical side may be saying, "I don't hardly believe that"...well, honey-that's entirely up to you. An old pastor from Coffee County Alabama used to say, when people had a hard time accepting the Holy Spirit's movements, "It ain't fir you then".
Once the mammogram and biopsy revealed the cancer--I not only got up readily in the wee hours, I went to bed anticipating my time with Jesus. There were times as I lay in bed, after the news hit, the devil's mind games would begin. It went something like this: "
You will not get to go on the mission field. Look at your circumstances--who would want to support you now? You may as well let everyone know you can't. You won't make it through this. You won't see your children raise their families."These are just a FEW of the aggravating phrases he assaulted me with.
Some mornings my day began exhausted of the mental battle that had ensued--every single day and night. But. really--he (the devil) should have known better. It's almost like I became that stubborn child once again that always had the attitude when told he or she couldn't do something: "hide and watch".
But my attitude came from the strength building inside from the Holy Spirit. Not my own strength...but HIS.
Don't think I didn't question God about what He was doing-- I wanted to know the "plan". But I never said, "why me?".
I did, however, ask Him, "Why now?". Like, "You know what You called us to...and YOU know we were trying to itinerate for crying out loud! It just became impossible! Who would want to support someone going through chemo--trying to get to the mission field??!"
See what happened right there? One of the very lies the devil tossed at me--I tossed to God. Like a hot potato game. Only when I tossed it to God--He never flinched.
What He did was smile and remind me about that word, "IMPOSSIBLE" and how NOTHING is impossible with HIM.
Okay, Father. Just walk me through this. I already knew He would. He had already TOLD me. "When you pass THROUGH the waters....and the rivers...and WHEN you pass THROUGH the fire.... You will not drown and you will not be burned".
I prepared a message/devotion to share with our ladies brunch at our church. I had been completely caught up with one word even before I was asked to speak--"PRAYER".
- The importance of prayer;
- The specifics of a prayer room at home; and
- How you can build one at your church.
Photo free use from https://pixabay.com/
God has given each of you a gift from His great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. 1 Peter 4:10 NLT
Comments
Post a Comment